Battle of the Jaces
by unicornjelly
Summary: Book Jace, movie Jace and TV show Jace all meet and have a battle of who is the best Jace.
1. Jam on Toast

Clary 3 POV

CLARY FELT THE HOT STING OF TEARS STREAMING DOWN HER FACE, as a million questions ran through her head. How could this have happened? It was too much for her little heart to handle. How could Jace have broken up with her like that? How could it have happened? She could not help but stifle the hot rage inside of her. Jace had once said that he loved her, and just a few minutes ago he had broken up with her. What hurts clary the most was when she saw the look of alleviation in his eyes after he told her. It seemed as though he had been suppressing all of these feelings for so long and a weight and been lifted off of his shoulders.

*20 minutes earlier*

Jace 3 POV

Jace had been waiting for this day for a very long time. He had told himself that after the Dark War Clary was just going through a rough patch. But she was just so freaking annoying sometimes, he didn't know how he could live in a world with her in it. He made the decision to break up with her 3 months ago but told himself to wait a bit. He needed to give her time to heal before ripping open a gaping wound. Also, he had to admit, once he had ripped off the band-aid, relief spread over him like jam on toast. But then… out of nowhere… someone jumped out at him.


	2. The Fish Guy

JACE 3 POV

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING JACE THOUGHT. He had thought he killed that ugly bastard years ago. But no, it was him, Jace's mortal enemy 'Dom'. He heard the little voice in his head thinking how stupid the name Dom was. It was true Dom had a special set of abilities. His vile fish like face made demons recoil in horror. Jace and Dom had been feuding for awhile now, and eventually, Jace snapped and challenged Dom to a duel. They fought it out and Jace stabbed Dom in the foot, which should have killed him. "Well well well," Dom said in his husky yet delicate voice "here we are again my dude"

"No, not here" Jace grumbled. He was getting really sick and tired about being confronted. "At Taco Bell, 12 pm. "

Dom cackled his unusually high cackle "ok my dude, I'll see you then. For the ultimate battle of the Jaces"

Jace was confused "but...but… I'm Jace"

Dom cackled his loud laughter again, this time even higher "not in the Shadowhunter's tv series, they wanted someone who could act"

And with that, he stifled a sneeze, jumped on his magenta broomstick and flew off, crashing into a pigeon and falling off halfway through.


	3. Chicken Noddly Soup

JAMIE 3 POV

Jamie Campbell Bower Soup (JCBS)(Jamie Campbell Bower) had witnessed it all from his magical sphere of greatness (it's really an orb). Little did those two kids know that he would be crashing the party. Afterall you can't have a battle of the Jace's without him. With that, he dove out his window, a unicorn catching him mid fall bringing him to Jace.

"Well well well" he said through gritted teeth, didn't know I'd see you here (lying is fun).

Jace looked like he had had a tough day, his shoulders sagged and his eyes look like the eyes of a demon. JCBS didn't give a shit though so it was ok. "I AM THE REAL JACE" he said in what he hoped would be a booming, terrifying voice.

Jace raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. "You don't know who I am do you?"

"Nope" Jace replied, a smirk coming back to his face.

"You've never watched the City of Bones movie, with me, and ummmmm, some other random people playing my sidekicks"

Jace returned his look with a quizzical grin

"Really, maybe you just don't remember it", "I was you, an old guy played Alec and clary had really bushy eyebrows"

"Sounds accurate" Jace said with a smile that would normally be seen on a clown.

"I can't believe this, they said they would advertise it really well" Jamie raked his hand through his curly blonde hair that fell almost to his shoulders. He had done it up to match his idol (Jace) and always wanted it to be looking the best. Unfortunately he could never get that angel glow like Jace could, or the soft curls. His were sharp and had a mildly greasy look to them, although he took a bubble bath 3 times each day.


	4. Cheesy Potato Burrito

ALEC 3POV

As Alec gazed longingly into Magnus's cat eye, (Magnus had lost his other eye due to a raging cat). He thought about how happy he was. How could anyone be mad or angry or upset in such a lovely world. All of a suddenly Jace burst in through the chocolate brown door of the local Taco Bell. His radiant blonde hair blew in the wind. Alec gapped at Jace, mouthing 'WHY', did he really have to crash almost all of his dates. Jace did not seem to see him. His gaze was thrust upon a really ugly guy who had just come in after Jace. He looked remarkably like a fish, IT was really quite horrifying. 15 seconds later another blonde guy burst in, with mildly greasy looking blonde hair. Alec shook his head… What had Jace gotten himself into now? He sighed and reached for his cheesy potato burrito. Out of nowhere, an angular potato jumped up and drop kicked the burrito out of Alec's hand. The potato had a mouth and eyes too… Alec had never seen anything like it. Magnus had a sharp smirk on his mouth… and Alec wondered how any of this could be funny. The potato spoke in an outdated slight Welsh accent. "Do not eat my brethren" the potato said. His voice was as beautiful as church bells. The Welsh potato turned to Jace, the fish guy, and the other blonde one who was eating soup and said in a booming voice Alec thought was impossible for such a petite vegetable. "I HAVE COME TO RESTORE MYSELF AS THE ONE AND ONLY JACEEEEEE" with that, he stabbed the toothpick he was holding into the table, shockingly close to Alec's finger. Alec could not help but stare at Potato Jace's chiseled chin, his high, angular cheekbones. Call him crazy but he could have sworn he saw the resemblance between Jace and this hot starch.


	5. Pink Sparkly Signs

As they were fighting, a small crowd of people started to gather. Jace could see Clary, Isabelle, Simon, Alec and Magnus, as well as a gang of drunk people watching. He admitted he forgot glamor but oh well, life goes on am I right? At a certain point, Tessa and Zachariah had come in. Tessa and Simon had taken on the responsibility of being the ring girls. They held up pink sparkly signs (decorated by Simon) for every round. They were on their 3rd round when the first Jace dropped( Jamie). Jamie Campbell something or other slipped on some parmesan cheese and hit his head. Jace and Dom were interlocked in a grueling sword fight and Potato Jace seemed to be taking a break to flirt with Alec…

Potato Jace's POV

Ever since he had seen that beautiful girl in the seat, Potato Jace wanted her. She had really short straight black hair and was talking to a warlock with green, gold eyes. He wondered which line he should use, he had so many. He finally chose one. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven" The girl's eyes widened, she looked at the warlock, and spoke. "What are you doing," she said in a really low voice, she sounded almost like a boy… wait a second… this was a guy! Potato Jace's whole body turned bright red as he jumped off the table and scattered into the bathroom. There, he started bawling. How could he have been this stupid? He had to admit it had been awhile since he had dated a human. No one since his first love, Jessamine Lovelace, but he didn't want to think about her. It had really hurt when she tried to peel him to make chips. Potato Jace wiped his face and went back out there, to win the fight, to be the real Jace he always dreamed, and hopefully to win his heart!


	6. The Muffin Thief

A bead of sweat dripped across Jace's face. He did not think fighting would be so hard. Dom also seemed pretty gassed, his pink sparkle top was soaked from sweat. Jamie Campbell Bower Soup had also woken up from his nap on the floor but was quickly taken out by potato Jace. Potato Jace kept stabbing Jamie whatever his name is with a toothpick, he especially aimed for his heel. A larger gang of drunk people had gathered, and the taco bell employees were also watching.

Clary's POV  
She was so sad and watching Jace fight, she could not help but hope that he died in the fight. She took out her sketchbook and started drawing runes, hopefully, one of them would make Jace feel her pain. But wait! She knew how to make him feel pain, she had to make Dom win. Jace would lose his squeaky clean reputation and Dom would be the new Jace, taking away Jace's identity. She raced to the bathroom to get some privacy and apply the rune.  
In the bathroom, she put the rune on her wrist. She then went out and kissed Dom, for good lucks sake and also to make Jace jelly. She laughed her unusually low cackle and drew the rune of Dom's wrist. Suddenly Dom was flooded with light. He reached out and stuck his hand into Jace's chest

Jace's POV  
Jace could feel the sticky sweaty hand of Dom inside of his chest. Out of nowhere, someone shoved Dom out of the way. Jace had no idea who she was. She had deep copper hair, much better than his ugly ex-clary. She had with her a pan of muffins. Jace's stomach growled and he and the other Jace's decided to take a snack break.  
He approached the muffin girl and decided to start a conversation.  
"Hey… you come here often?"  
Jace raised a perfectly sculpted, moist from sweat, eyebrow.  
When the girl didn't reply, he decided to try again.  
"What's your name?"  
She replied in a light chimp monkey tone.  
"I… am the Muffin Thief"  
"Oh"... Jace replied in a deep chipmunky voice  
They ended up having a really good time with the Muffin Thief. She turned out to be really interesting. He learned about her tragic backstory. She was a happy child until someone blamed her for stealing the last muffin. That ruined her squeaky clean reputation and she was forced into the shadows. Hated by all. Instead of trying to get a new better rep, she decided to embrace her inner evil. She also had a grand fear of rodents, especially rats.  
But, out of nowhere, she said she had to leave.  
"Wait…" "I've never connected more with anyone in my whole entire life" but she said she really had to jet, so she snatched a pan of muffins, put it in her large homeless sac-like bag she was carrying attached to a stick and galloped away into the sunset.

Magnus's POV  
Magnus watched when Alec had followed Potato Jace with his eyes. It hurt. That was the way Alec used to follow Magnus. It was true they had been having a tough time in their relationship. Everyone thought they would live happily ever after the dark war, but Magnus knew the truth. Anyone can have a happy ending, it's just where you stop the story. As he sat there, thinking all of this, a small oval shape walked up to him. It was the cheesy potato burrito Alec had been about to eat. Looking closer, Magnus could see that it had a handsome face. The same chiseled jaw as Potato Jace. The burrito also had a single curl of hair that came down on the center of his forehead, like some comic book hero. The potato started talking in a thick Welsh accent.  
"I've heard of you"  
It said, and Magnus realized that it was a female potato.  
"Yeah?" He questioned with a raise of his eyebrow.  
"Yes, I've lived a long time, and the adventures of the great Magnus Bane do not go unheard of."  
She continued " I was a...a...friend of someone you used to know"  
She seemed to hesitate on the word friend as if it meant something more.  
"Do you want to tell me who this friend of mine was?" Magnus inquired.  
"William Herondale" Magnus gasped. It wasn't possible, it couldn't be. He never really thought his path would come up to him like this. But he has to keep his cool demeanor.  
The burrito continued "I was more than a friend"  
Oh here it comes, Magnus thought. This would be the day where William's memory was spoiled forever by some dinner dish.  
"I was his…"  
At that moment all the lights turned off and the taco bell they were in rose from the ground and started flying, away from NY.


	7. The Taco Goes Down

Jace's POV

Everyone had stopped what they were doing and was looking at Jace.

"Ok everyone…" Jace started, thinking what he should say. The house continued to fly around. "We need to jump"

"WHAT" the gang of drunk people exclaimed, all together. Jace was fairly impressed. He looked under the counter at the Taco Bell and found a couple parachutes for this very occasion. "Ok everyone, we need to split up into 5 groups."

"There are only 5 parachutes so we are going to have to share"

They broke off into groups, about 8 people in each. Group number one had Alec, Isabelle, Clary, Simon, Tessa, Jem, Dom, and Jamie Campbell Bower soup. The next group had Magnus, Potato Jace, Cheesy Potato Burrito. The rest were filled with the gangs of drunk people.

Suddenly the house was torn apart, the five groups all clinging on to their parachutes as they descended.

They were falling when Jace realized that these were not parachutes at all, they were giant Pringles! Jace had a sudden question. What were shark fins made of?

Once they all landed Jace looked around. Where were they? He had absolutely no idea. At this point, Magnus spoke up.

"It appears that we are in a demon dimension"

Everyone let out a gasp, a couple people fainting. "But..but... Demons aren't real" All the shadowhunters looked in surprise to the person who said it. It was someone from the gang of drunk people.

"And what is your name," Magnus asked questionably.

The person replied "I'm Joe"

"Joe who," Potato Jace asked suspiciously

"Joe Mauer" the guy replied. Jace then realized that he was not intoxicated at all, perfectly sane.

"Well I hate to break this to you Joe" Jamie cambell Bower Soup said, but all the stories are true".

 _*Roll Credits*_

Jace cleared his throat. "It doesn't' matter who's who, we need to find out where we are and how to get out.

Jace turned to Clary. "Can you make a portal?" he asked. Clary did not seem to hear him, she was staring into Dom's eyes. Dom was starring back.

Magnus answered the question "no, don't you remember anything from that other time we were in the demon dimension"

Jace sighed, some people were just so difficult to work with. "Ok then, lets just start walking and see what we find"

Dom started clapping saying "the legendary JACE HERONDALE can't come up with anything better"

"Hahahahahahahahahaha"

"I have a much better proposition" Jace raised a perfect eyebrow… "And what is that"

"Lets wait here"

Now it was Jace's turn to laugh. They were going to die here if they waited. They had to search for help. Not all demon dimensions are the same.

Dom raised his hand, indicating silence.

"We'll split up, anyone who thinks they should wait with me can wait, and anyone who wants to go and go the the 'great' Jace Herondale.

At that the people started to split up. Most decided to go with Jace because, despite what Dom had said, he had quite the reputation. The only people who stayed were Dom, Clary, Tessa, Simon, some random actually drunk guy.

The rest of the people started walking, Jace taking the lead with Joe close behind. Jace took this time to look around the world. At this point they were walking a an eerily green meadow, but after Jace carved a farsighted rune (and birth control rune) (you can never be to0 safe) he could see that almost abruptly the weather totally change. About 7 miles away (ha ha, get it?) there were mounds of snow as flakes started to come. Jace wondered what they were going to do about that, with only some of them being shadowhunters. Jace turned back at the group to see Isabelle explaining the whole shadowhunter world to Joe. Joe seemed to be taking it pretty well, but who can be sure. Finally, about 2 miles away from the icy tundra, they stopped to make camp for the night. The sun was setting anyway, and everyone seemed pretty worn out, not to mention hungry. Things turned up when this guy from the drunk gang mentioned he was a hardcore survivalist and built them a fire. There was also this guy named Han, who shared his extra burritos. Luckily, none of them were living, much to cheesy potato burrito dismay.

* _The next day*_

 _*Joe's POV*_

Joe was feeling pretty overwhelmed with it also, but also crazy excited. He had known for sure that that vampire he had seen in 2001 one was real. And the people around here were seriously interesting. This really nice guy, Han, was really good friends with a bunch of street racers who often help the FBI find criminals. He then had to fake his death in order to catch this big criminal, and was planning to come back. Fun fact, the leader to the street racers was also named Dom, but seemed like a really nice guy. All about family and respect and kicking butt. There was also this talking potato he had quite the tragic backstory. Joe felt a tug at his heart whenever the potato talked about his epic love story. Joe honestly wanted to meet this mysterious Jessamine, but had sworn to Potato Jace that he wouldn't tell a to be honest, the one he thought had the best story/life was this Gem guy. He was a drug addict for a number of years only to fall into some wicked love triangle with no hate and became an even bigger drug addict, eventually leading to the almost death of him in which his fiance cheated on him with his best friend and he was strangely ok with with that, joe was no idea how, and became this things called a silent brother for a century or 2 and thank to this great Jace guy, he was now back to his life as if nothing happened. Not to mention the adulterous fiance was immortal and had lived a whole different life with his best friend/rival for her love. But no big deal. At this point Joe's live was seeming to be a bit boring. He also liked Jace a lot. Jace had even given him his own dagger, one without runes so it would not kill Joe or anything, no biggie. Hearing almost all of these Shadowhunter stories told Joe a number of things, the main one being that shadowhunters were extremly reckless, and also tend to have pretty epic, dramatic love stories fit for a season of Grey's Anatomy. But to be completly honest he liked these people and their interesting stories. One day he vowed to right them all down, maybe under a pen name, and publish them…

 _*suspenseful music*_


	8. The potato comes out

**Jace's Pov**

Jace didn't think they were getting anywhere, so he sat down. Everyone else sat down with him, for no apparent reason. Then, all of a sudden, Jamie Campbell Bower soup and Dom descended from the sky. But the real shock was how they got up there in the first place. They were riding on a bunch of flying burritos! Jace blinked a few times just to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Those few seconds quickly passed as Dom and JCBS leaped off their flying potato and landed on the ground with a thud. Dom spoke first."You think this battle is over just because we have been portaled to another dimension?"

After nobody answered, he continued. " Jamie Campbell Bower Soup and I have agreed to team up to take you out."

He cackled his high pitched laugh that sounded more like nails on a chalkboard than an actual laugh. JCBS continued "You've also got to tell me what conditioner you use" I am having trouble getting that silky hair"

Though Jace wanted to withhold that information, he wasn't evil. After texting JCBS a link to his favorite conditioner, Jace took out his sword.

The other Jace's followed his lead, taking out their desired weapons.

 **JCBS POV**

This is it, he thought. This is my time to become everything I have ever wanted, Jace. I will have it all. The hair, the friends, the edgy backstory. Although, he had to admit his own backstory was pretty edgy.

He had started out as just a lonely fanfic writer, actually to be quite honest he was a great fanfic writer. He was especially big into Destiel fanfic. But that wasn't the problem, the problem was that he spent so much time writing about heroes, he decided he wanted to become one. And who more heroic than Jace.

After about 5 minutes, Dom requested a bathroom break which turned into a lunch break. He heard potato Jace saying, "WHY DOES HE TAKE SO LONG" which annoyed everyone considering PJ (Potato Jace) had spent hours hogging the bathroom in the mourning.

 **Magnus's POV**

William Herondale, William Herondale, William Herondale. That was all that was on Magnus's mind as he pondered what cheesy potato burrito had said. He knew how this ended, just another human-animated talking food item couple that would get their happy ending as Magnus sat alone. How could he not have known William was in a relationship with a talking burrito. HOW? He decided to just go up and talk to her.

"So you come here often"?

She blinked a few times, and just for a moment, Magnus thought he saw what Wiliam saw. "We are in a different dimension, so that's new for me. What do ya want?'

"We were speaking, about Will"

"Ohhhhhhh, that thing"

"Yes, det ting"

"Well it's true, will and I were very close for some time. We were both young, and oh so stupid, but it was real, though sometimes it hurts too much"

"I don't think I can listen to this" Magnus started to walk away, but the burrito flung herself in front of him.

"NO, someone must know"

"Please anyone but me"

"No, you" Magnus sighed.

"Fine let's get this over with. How many years were you together, what was your first date like, did he ever meet your parents."

At that, the potato spun around and dropkicked him. Magnus was astonished, he knew he was being snarky, but this was a little extreme. And also that hurt. "I WAS NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM YOU MEATLOAF, I WAS HIS SISTER!"

*gasp*

"Ella?"

 **A/N:**

 **I'm sorry I don't update this story that often I am trying to post more frequently. Not really sure what I want to do with this story if you have any ideas feel free to PM me or leave a review. On another note, I am thinking of starting another story but if I do I will still continue to update this story. My idea is to do a Shadowhunters and Project Runway crossover, so let me know if you would like to see that. Anyway thanks for reading!**


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